3 Month Changiversary

A little "Dieting" history:

It's been three months since I made the decision to change my life.  Lots of people talk about starting diets, it's going to be on Monday, or after Christmas or New Year's, getting ready for summer or a Class Reunion.  I've been there before. I tried to lose weight for my wedding, for my brother's wedding, I've started after holiday's, I've started on Monday.  But often I quit on Monday night.  I give up after one bad week.  I lose whatever motivation I had to give my "diet" a half ass try.  I've referred to my diet as a lifestyle change before, and I'm no stranger to eating healthy and exercising.  I've done 6 meals a day, Body for Life, Weight Watchers, exercise, no exercise, curves, gyms.

I've been obese since I was in third grade.  My mom took me to Weight Watchers for the first time when I was 13 years old.  I know what you are thinking.  13 is way too young for WW, but I saw it work for her, and I begged.  I did really well, but gave that up eventually, and that started a lifetime of cycle dieting, yoyoing, motivation followed by excuses and giving up.


My breaking point:

Everyone who really makes a change like this has a breaking point.  There's not just one thing that was going bad in my life, everything was going bad.

In 6 months I had somehow rapidly gained about 30 lbs.  Partially I can blame it on a hormonal medication, but the other part was eating crapily and living a mostly sedentary lifestyle.  Work was painful for me, I tweaked my back a couple times. I had a hard time lifting clients.  Certain physical moves I had to perform would strain my lower back.

One big pre-breaking pt. low spot was Halloween for me.  I love dressing up. I like designing and sewing costumes, but I've lost my love for it the bigger I've gotten.  For halloween this year, I just figured I would do a simple fairy outfit.  Black dress, wings, and I would make a tutu and put on some crazy makeup.  I would say that someone of my size shouldn't wear a tutu, and that's probably true because I looked like the Giant Godzilla Fairy Monster.  And the worst part is that people said I looked so cute, because that was  as cute as I could possibly look at that size.  At this point I still wasn't ready to step on the scale.

I knew I needed to lose weight.  You don't not know.  When someone says they are fine being this obese, that's not true. Nobody is fine with this.  Some people live with it, some people don't have the motivation to change, but nobody is fine with it. Nobody is happy with this type of body.  But I still didn't have the drive I needed.

As the holiday months passed I continued to gain weight.  My size 24 jeans didn't fit anymore.  I had bought some "yoga" pants, because they would be good for work of course.  And I started wearing those all the time.  My husband would say "Just buy some jeans that fit" as he watched me do the pregnancy trick with my jeans (a hair binder through the loophole).  I didn't want to waste the money, because I was going to start eating right and working out soon.  But I didn't have a clear vision of this working out/eating right Erica, I just said it because I didn't want to face the music.  So I finally did it. I bought a size 26 pair of jeans. I brought them home, knowing they would fit, and guess what?  They were too tight.  I could NOT fit into size 26 jeans, which means I was a size 28.  I can't even say that.  In fact, if someone were to ask me what my biggest size was, I would probably say 26.

More low points: 

I couldn't play with my kids the way I want. I asked my husband to carry laundry and groceries up the stairs for me.  He took them outside to play.  Dancing winded me too much.   Seats in movie theatres were getting
too tight for me.  I was scared to go on an airplane ride.  Nothing fits me. Nothing. Bras don't fit right. Shirts don't fit right. Underwear doesn't fit right. Pants don't fit right.  Shoes don't even fit right, because my feet are too fat.  Carrying my baby up the stairs would wind me.  I was depressed. Unhappy. Lazy. Mean. Had an incredibly stressful relationship with my husband.  Ate crappy food, my joy was a bag of candy and a diet coke.  I was getting to the point where I had a hard time standing up from the couch.  I hated going to ECFE, because I hated having to sit on the floor, because it was so hard for me to get up off the floor, not to mention the ungraceful way I plopped my butt down.

The Change: 

26 is the size of the biggest pair of jeans I own, because that was it for me. I said FUCK THIS SHIT.  I'm better than this. I can do more than this.  Right then and there I signed up for Weight Watchers again knowing that it's a good place to start.   I started eating healthy that night. I went to my first meeting the next morning, where my first official weight from them was 289.2 lbs.  I had 125.2 lbs to lose to get to 164 lbs, which is the top healthy BMI* weight for my height.

My cousin and I out dancing. 

I bought Zumba on my Wii to get started. I couldn't do 15 minutes without feeling like dying, a month later after doing it every day (sometimes twice a day), I could do a 45 minute stint.  I joined the YMCA. I started going to Zumba and Body Pump classes. I got a Heart Rate Monitor to watch my burn. I decided to use My fitness pal for tracking instead of WW, because I really wanted to focus on core foods and exercise. I hired a Personal trainer.  I joined ANOTHER gym to keep my mojo going.

Size 22 Jeans (Taken 4/7/13)

I've lost 30 lbs in three months.  That's a great number for me. I've been committed every single day.  I make  thoughtful choices about what I eat, how I move, how I act every day and it shows. After 3 months my size 24 jeans are too lose, my yoga pants can't stay on my hips.  I carry my groceries up the stairs. I have dance parties while swinging my children around.  My marriage is in a healing process. I smile all the time. I laugh all the time. I'm happy almost all the time.  I went dancing with my cousin for the first time in forever last night, and the only problem is that I needed a belt.  I dyed my hair crazy colors, because I'm so happy that I had the confidence to let the real me shine through.  Even when I'm tired and exhausted, I can still keep going. I can go to work, and not be grumpy. I can make myself go to the gym. The endorphins are working their way into my life in an awesome way.

All I know is that I'm never going back.  I'm never going to not be able to fit into a size 26 jean unless it's entirely too big (which it is now!)  This is the new me.  The new me is wearing size 22 capri's in the picture I took today. I like me so much better, and I'm here to stay.  I've got a long ways to go, but life is good.  30 lbs in three months?  I can't wait to see what I accomplish in a year.